January/February 2007
Fort Wayne Woman Magazine
Moving In
Planning a wedding requires so much time and is so much fun that it can be easy to forget about the hard work and headache of combining two households into one. Of course he wants all his stuffed deer heads and ducks mounted on the wall in the living room, but that might not be what you had in mind for the decor of your new home. So how do you get past this?
When combining two people's belongings and moving in together, there are a few things that will make it easier to do the job, with less frustration for both parties. These tips can also be applied if you are looking to pare down after a long time in the same house. Taking time to do some talking and planning beforehand will make the whole process go smoother - with the end result hopefully being fewer fights!
Both people need to feel respected. Decide up front to show your respect by really listening to what is important to your partner. (You get to put those vows to the test now!)
Take an inventory of each household. Knowing what you have multiples of is the first step towards paring down. Keep your wedding registry in mind if you are doing this before the wedding, although you can never be sure what you'll get.
Have each person list their essentials - those couple items you are not willing to budge on. For you it may be the antique dresser from your grandma, while it turns out to be the stuffed mallard for him. This is part of the give and take. (It doesn't mean the duck has to be in your bedroom!)
Pick one room to focus on first. Tackling both houses or apartments randomly will seem overwhelming and you won't be motivated to keep going. If you start with the kitchen, if at all possible, do one kitchen then the other, before you forget what you have decided to keep. (If not possible, take an inventory of what you kept from each one.)
Have plenty of boxes and label them clearly with "donate" and others with the name of the room they'll be going into in the new space. You are ready to start going through each drawer and shelf and deciding which items should go with you to the new space and which ones don't need to make the move.
If you get stuck, ask some of these questions to keep you on track: Do I love it? Do I use it? Is there another one? Is one better than another? Will this furniture fit in the new space? Is it well-made and comfortable?
When setting up the new house, take a minute to talk through your expectations and any ideas you have about how things could be stored. For your bedroom and clothes closet, do you prefer hanging clothes to folding them in drawers? Be fair and equitable when dividing the drawer and closet space in your bedroom.
The space should reflect both people's interests and tastes. If you are moving into a new house together, you will both be able to put your mark on the new space. If, however, one person is moving in with the other, extra attention needs to be given to helping the one moving in to feel at home. Even painting a room or two and doing some redecorating may be called for. Don't forget to add some pictures of your new spouse's family and friends.
May your hard work pay off so your new space represents you and your new spouse and will be functional and organized for your new life together!